Chai, Inspiration, Laughter.
Why I always get emotional at the wrong time, I do not know.
But the one thing I’m sure of, is how I take forever to get out of feeling depressed.
I’m not sure if anyone else feels the same.
I don’t want to sound ‘whingey’. It’s just that it’s a weird feeling and I’m not sure why it even happens.
Here I am, on holiday, having a good time, then —-
BOOM! My mind decides to make me feel slightly worse than I should be feeling.
Then a few days later, I start to feel ever worse.
At first I thought it was homesickness - but I’m technically returning home for holidays, so it made no sense to me whatsoever.
This is such a weird cycle - I swear I remember feeling this crappy a month or so ago, for no reason. These things just happen, and they are so ridiculously unmanageable. I thought I’d never feel helpless, considering I live amongst many lucky people - and I’m beginning to think that this is the ultimate first world problem but I can’t help writing about it - but I actually feel exactly that.
Maybe it’s a ‘chronic fatigue’ thing - a mixture of forever sleeping after 2 in the morning and thinking too much.
How do you stop thinking too much? It just seems so terribly difficult to me. :/
In my exasperation, I have written a creative response to D.H. Lawrence’s works. Instead of the E.E. outline I should be developing. FML.
Might edit that story and post it up here sometime, though. It’s full of love, angst, separation, and mild descriptions of love-making. True to D.H.L’s style. Mostly. More a teenage short story.
(via whipkind)
To you
I leave so much unspoken
For you
I wish happiness
With you
I want to fall asleep every night
On you
The most delicate of my emotions are expressed
From you
I learn about myself
and wish not to leave.
I trust Life to lead me where I need to go.
Whether the moment holds joy
Or I’m surrounded by pain,
These are the lessons I am meant
To learn.
*
If I should sit as passive observer,
No happiness will come to me
Or from me…
I wish more to be a conduit
With laughter running…
Anonymous Asks:
chailattedays Said:
:)
Nothing ever stays the same. I may be called by the same name, I may look vaguely similar to who I once was, but I shall never be the same person in every instant of my life. You tell me I’m exactly like before, that who I am is just a repetition of what I used to be, do.
But let me tell you, it…
Lately I’ve been having -
Moments of Happiness
that I never knew
to have existed before.
Recently I’ve been seeing -
More Colours of Passion
than I’ve ever claimed
to have seen before.
Merrily I’ve been smiling -
at the littlest expressions
of affection
that I’ve never thought
to have been so
satisfying before.
Fortunately I haven’t been waiting -
too long
to have encountered
the reason that
makes me grateful
to have my life played out this way
and to wonder how long before
a rendez-vous, encore.
I haven’t had the best week.
In many ways, it was fantastic. But by the end of it I was so mentally dried up and numb I could not bring myself to do anything but sleep. And procrastinate.
Has that every happened to you? What do you do when you feel that way?
Well. When reading your favourite writer’s book doesn’t help, I think it’s time to write about how…unmotivated I am. No matter how boring it makes my Tumblr look.
It’s the best I could do for now. It’s not like I can go anywhere - caught a cold yesterday and I feel like a zombie.
